Earlier today, I was feeling frustrated and a little bit disappointed. I didn’t get the job(s) that I was hoping for. I knew that I didn’t get them as I wasn’t called Friday, Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday after the posting closed. Every time the phone rang I would snatch it up, my heart pumping so loudly that I could hear the blodod rushing in my ears, my face getting hot, my hands shaking as I turned to phone to glance at the call display, hoping for that call.
I guess it’s safe to say I was more than a little disappointed. I had it all figured out, childcare and everything, resting on that job. Now, in honesty, I don’t have childcare figured out, at all, but I had learned that the teachers of those jobs were flexible and maybe willing to deal with my schedule. So, that put my hopes up. The job(s) was(were) at a fantastic school, right up the road (within biking and walking distance and only ten minutes on the bus), the school is close to a pond which is AWESOME for my interest in science and the Earth and my students.
Anyhow, I didn’t get it. I was bummed. Frustrated. I wanted to have a nap, rest and be at peace with my kids. Nope. Nap not happening. Hunter squirming all over, not interested. Susannah climbing on me, gouging her little nails into my eyelids.
A friendly face stopped by and let me dump my feelings on her. She left, I swaddled Susie and lay her down with her soother. I walked out to the living room to give myself a minute to reflect on my emotions about this and how I was treating my kids (hurriedly).
When I went back into the room, two minutes later, Susannah is peacefully asleep. As I watched my precious little girl sucking in her sleep, my eyes filled with tears. God is so good. He is looking after us and keeping us safe and happy, together. That’s what matters. I am so blessed. I only hope that, in my life and through my interests, I can honour Him.
Something else will come along. And, if it doesn’t, I know that I’m in good hands. He has a plan for me and my family.